I. | audio | un: sparkler

[flashystyle]

Is... is this thing on? [Excuse the uh, distinct sound of someone tapping a screen like an old person.] Hello? Oh! There you are. Excellent.

So, now that we've gotten the world's-- sorry, the universe's biggest trust fall known to man and not-man, I think it's time we start popping the question. The real question. No hypotheticals, no, excuse me, [Dorian voice turning a pitch higher in imitation of... someone? Who knows. This is probably the collective voice of all of you. It's incredibly inaccurate.]

If I had the chance, I'd do it! They're a bad person! They killed hundreds of people, or... or one time they looked at me funny and they had shiny things galore! [ahem] We've all had drama against one another, with no real way of proving they're a terrible person other than the game of he said, she said, so! Let's get straight to it, shall we?

Have you, yes, you, killed someone or... something? Poof, gone, light left their eyes if they have them, turns out they're dead forever or it's like a five-minute deal. Whatever have you; it still counts if they stopped breathing.

If yes, why? Should we all expect a knife in our back? Get electrocuted to death? Be made to walk off a cliff? What are the qualifiers for this sort of thing, really? Personal vendettas? OR... perhaps you were playing the hero. [the deets, give the sweet deets.]

If no, well... I didn't think that far ahead, truth be told. You're more than likely surrounded by murderers, so... what's... a food you miss? Murderers can probably answer this as well, perhaps we'll find some sort of connection. [or, like, just listen to how many people you met have killed someone? have fun with that.]

Comments

[flashystyle]

Your... royal chef. As in yours... as in you own him, as royalty.

[He... lives with this guy? This man is real? This man was in charge of people??]

I don't there's a word for a ruler somehow being so damn clueless that he manages to cut what's already short time even shorter, but I doubt it's murder. Just utter stupidity, maybe?

[tummyflowers]

[He lets out a sigh of relief.]

I am so glad to hear that. Honestly, I've been feeling a large weight on my shoulders ever since I was told about it and it feels good to have it lifted. After all, everyone else I only ordered to be killed, so I'm good there. [Murder free Rick! That's what they'll call him.] In any case, can anyone be said to truly own a chef?

[flashystyle]

You're... glad to hear you're just an idiot. You know, I'm glad too. Really puts things into perspective.

I don't know. I've never been royalty, so I just assume you think you go about as if you own everyone. Don't you dictate whether or not they get hanged for a terrible meal?

[tummyflowers]

Oh, well, sure. I've executed a lot of people for a lot of admittedly petty reasons. But I didn't really think of it as owning them so much as commanding a vastly superior force which allowed me to do as I liked. [Yes he knows how that sounds.] Anyway, the point is that I can have a clean conscience. I've never committed murder. It gives me a sense of closure.