I. | audio | un: sparkler

[flashystyle]

Is... is this thing on? [Excuse the uh, distinct sound of someone tapping a screen like an old person.] Hello? Oh! There you are. Excellent.

So, now that we've gotten the world's-- sorry, the universe's biggest trust fall known to man and not-man, I think it's time we start popping the question. The real question. No hypotheticals, no, excuse me, [Dorian voice turning a pitch higher in imitation of... someone? Who knows. This is probably the collective voice of all of you. It's incredibly inaccurate.]

If I had the chance, I'd do it! They're a bad person! They killed hundreds of people, or... or one time they looked at me funny and they had shiny things galore! [ahem] We've all had drama against one another, with no real way of proving they're a terrible person other than the game of he said, she said, so! Let's get straight to it, shall we?

Have you, yes, you, killed someone or... something? Poof, gone, light left their eyes if they have them, turns out they're dead forever or it's like a five-minute deal. Whatever have you; it still counts if they stopped breathing.

If yes, why? Should we all expect a knife in our back? Get electrocuted to death? Be made to walk off a cliff? What are the qualifiers for this sort of thing, really? Personal vendettas? OR... perhaps you were playing the hero. [the deets, give the sweet deets.]

If no, well... I didn't think that far ahead, truth be told. You're more than likely surrounded by murderers, so... what's... a food you miss? Murderers can probably answer this as well, perhaps we'll find some sort of connection. [or, like, just listen to how many people you met have killed someone? have fun with that.]

Comments

[flashystyle]

... I think we're going to need more information than that. Did you stab the body, or...?

[planetary_bonds]

...They were brought back to life by an ancient god, and defeating them more or less sentenced them to die again.

[Ah.]

[flashystyle]

[Oooookay. Give him a second.]

It... still counts. They could have lived to do this ancient god's bidding. How dare you stop the treacherous deeds they were going to do again?

[planetary_bonds]

...Mn. I suppose you're right. Even if it was a responsibility more or less forced on me, if I didn't have that obligation...I likely would have done it again regardless.

[Yes. How dare he.]

[flashystyle]

I'm quivering in my boots, truly. [Tone down the edge, child. No, Dorian is simply teasing him in some effort to lighten the mood from being forced to kill weird not dead but dead things.]

What did you do? Stab them with your hair?

[planetary_bonds]

[how many hair jokes is he going to have to endure in this place. how many.]

No.

[beat.]

We played a...game. [a death game. on motorcycles.]

[flashystyle]

[maybe if he stopped looking like he used 5 bottles of hairspray]

A game with the undead. I can't imagine it's... lively.

[planetary_bonds]

[but it's all-natural :(]

...You'd have been surprised.

[Undead zombie cultists are surprisingly good at evil laughter, vicious taunts, and enjoy themselves way too much trying to get revenge.]

The gods that revived them...didn't make it easy for us, at least.