elnysa | I. | audio | un: sparkler

Is... is this thing on? [Excuse the uh, distinct sound of someone tapping a screen like an old person.] Hello? Oh! There you are. Excellent.

So, now that we've gotten the world's-- sorry, the universe's biggest trust fall known to man and not-man, I think it's time we start popping the question. The real question. No hypotheticals, no, excuse me, [Dorian voice turning a pitch higher in imitation of... someone? Who knows. This is probably the collective voice of all of you. It's incredibly inaccurate.]

If I had the chance, I'd do it! They're a bad person! They killed hundreds of people, or... or one time they looked at me funny and they had shiny things galore! [ahem] We've all had drama against one another, with no real way of proving they're a terrible person other than the game of he said, she said, so! Let's get straight to it, shall we?

Have you, yes, you, killed someone or... something? Poof, gone, light left their eyes if they have them, turns out they're dead forever or it's like a five-minute deal. Whatever have you; it still counts if they stopped breathing.

If yes, why? Should we all expect a knife in our back? Get electrocuted to death? Be made to walk off a cliff? What are the qualifiers for this sort of thing, really? Personal vendettas? OR... perhaps you were playing the hero. [the deets, give the sweet deets.]

If no, well... I didn't think that far ahead, truth be told. You're more than likely surrounded by murderers, so... what's... a food you miss? Murderers can probably answer this as well, perhaps we'll find some sort of connection. [or, like, just listen to how many people you met have killed someone? have fun with that.]

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Are we using the tried and tested "have you killed someone" question as a foundation to judge a person's moral turpitude? Or just as a way to sate a growing curiosity or concern?

Often the fastest route to sewing distrust.

[And yet he just sounds vaguely amused. Someone would ask this question eventually, and that eventually is now.]

Less often, the moderately slow paced route to complete trust. And we are a group of people that are only here from lesser odds, aren't we?

[Ardyn isn't the only one amused. Dorian's expected another admittance, defensive or not, only to be pleasantly surprised with a real question.]

It's all very sating, little more. None of us are on any ground to stand to judge one another, especially when it may be hypocritical.

[He does love turning questions around, there's no doubt about it. At the very least, Dorian's done him a favor by starting this public conversation. Though Ardyn may have a skewed way of judging any given individual, he can at least hear their stories regarding how they justify (or not) their own amoral tendencies.]

Hypocritical. Or perhaps even more prevalent, dishonesty.

[A quiet little "hm".] Here's an experiment in hypocrisy for you: Have you killed someone or something before? And do you justify it as having been necessary?

Edited 2017-07-28 17:51 (UTC)

Now, it can't be an experiment in hypocrisy when I never denied I haven't. I'm a man of many things, and dishonesty isn't one of them.

[It's with a sigh that he continues, as if the count is so high that it's gotten heavy.] I've killed a great many somethings, and a lesser-- but still great --amount of someones. Usually when they've gone so mad they're nothing but a danger to others, but there have been some misfires. Or just fires. Don't like burning them, but if it gets the job done.

Does that assign me any depravity, saying it so casually? I can't say. But if people ask, they should know I have blood on my hands before they try to shake them. Just as I would prefer to know, but don't require.

No, it's an omission of convenience when you ask and neglect to mention your own experiences with killing. It's hypocrisy when you judge others for their responses, even though that blood does remain neatly stained on your hands.

[It's hard to tell if he's speaking in generalities, or if he's accusing Dorian of being judgmental with some of these responses. He just sounds so much like he isn't terribly concerned either way.]

Setting people on fire. I hear that's a very painful way to go.

[All of this is rather accusatory, but really, what defense does Dorian have? This isn't the first time he's been guilty of being hypocritical, so it's with a reluctant sigh that he replies.] I suppose you're right. That would be terribly rude of me to do so.

[That's... as close as he'll get to admitting anything, but really, he doubts Ardyn cares to hear an apology anyhow.] It is, but I find it very effective when someone's having a go at trying to kill me. Electrocution runs the risk of them getting back up again when your back is turned, you know how it goes.

[He's right about that, at least. Ardyn doesn't care if he apologies or not. He doesn't even care if Dorian feels bad about being a hypocrite, or if the man has a hundred or a thousand's lives worth of blood on his hands. This weight of this conversation all seems rather airy for him.]

And how is it that you set them on fire, or electrocute them? You make it sound all very simple.

[He 'hmms' a little, pulling from his own experience to say:] Magic, perhaps?

Oh, no. I go through the unnecessary procedures to produce fire, then I just wave a stick at them. Then I do a little rain dance for the lightning. Sometimes it requires nudity to work.

Yes, it's magic. It's commonplace back in my homeland, and considered a curse in other countries. Yours?

[At that, Ardyn does have to laugh. Humor, especially the kind edged with sarcasm, is the sort that he can appreciate quite easily.

But he chooses only to answer the question.]

Magic in my world? It's far more limited than what you've just described. Restricted, mostly, to a certain royal line.

[A gross simplification, but that doesn't make it any less true.]

[All the Caelums are special snowflakes and that's just how it has to be. Though Dorian doesn't know the former, he's certainly feeling this fact is a little unfair.]

I don't know if I should feel offended for the rest of the population. Is the royal line at least... extensive? Or is it all the second son to the second son to the third son to maybe the forth son, we can't be sure he's not from an affair?

[Oh boy, it's his favorite topic of conversation. Well, maybe not, with the way something wry seems to creep into his words for no real reason. Subtle, but there.]

From son to son, or maybe even a daughter or two along the way. Whether or not it used to be an extensive, sprawling family tree means very little now. I believe it currently consists of exactly... [A pause for effect, as if he has to think on the matter.] ...two.

So when I say it is a very limited sort of magic, I do mean it.

[There's a pause, and it's more than likely because Dorian is taking the time to set his phone down so he can walk away from this. All this flair for something over audio.]

No, no, my greatest apologies. I must have misheard you. There's the... gift of magic, the art, the tool to a better world! And for a moment, I thought you said it was confined to... two people. Two individuals. Two... because they were born.

[He'd appreciate the dramatics if he could actually see them; don't worry, Dorian.]

My, you seem very passionate about all of this. Does it bother you that much?

But yes, that's the overall idea. A gift from the gods, long, long ago. Should you have issue with it, you should take it up with them instead.

I. | audio | un: sparkler

audio | un: a.izunia

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