elnysa | audio | un: priest

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audio | un: priest

[ This has been an emotionally draining few weeks for Rin. He notes how tired she just even though she refused to outright display any weakness in front of him. Kirei is fully aware that her title of sixth head of Tohsaka family has forced her to keep contact with him -- and by extension, Jeanne Alter.

As her legal guardian, he is aware he should do something to lower her unease and stress.
Yes, he could buy her some small trinket with the small amount of silver he has acquired. It would help to ease the tension between them a marginal some but still --

Or, he could buy something he knows she is obligated to take that purposely puts stress on her. Yes, he knows what he is going to do, but likes pretend there was another option. ]

Pardon me, everyone. I am attempting to buy a gift for one of my housemates, as it were.

I have only ever bought her gifts for birthdays and holidays and so I have no idea what to get for a 'just because.' Normally, I would think a new cellphone would be a kind gift but... well, I doubt I will find that here. In any case, what would be best?

[ Unless someone knows something he does not. ]

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A little frustrating, yes. But I'm doing all right. I work for the Royal Guard, and that at least gives me something to do.

[You know, up until he gets stripped of his title and made a wanted man for that little incident involving the theft of bioweapons.]

But nothing's eating me, so to speak. Nothing besides boredom.

[A lie, but there we are.]

I was going to suggest that you apply to work for them, but you are one step ahead of me. [ Which isn't too surprising given that Giovanni is an older refugee. ]

Peace is dull for you, then? No, that much is obvious. War may make you happier, but that may turn you into a tool. As a priest, I am unhappy with the idea of you being used. [ Used by someone other than himself for good reasons like fighting a war, anyway. ]

[And there comes the quick, hard bark of his laugh. The sound of it wry, sardonic.]

I am a tool. I was made to be used. To do otherwise is wasteful at best, negligent at worst. The devil makes work for idle hands-- a saying I'm sure someone like yourself is familiar with.

But the Guard suits me well enough, I suppose. Keeps these hands of mine from becoming too idle.

First a dog and now a tool.

I wonder when you shall see yourself as the person that I see you as. [ He breathes out a small sigh. Which is to say a person that is under his control. ] Indeed, that is a saying that I recognize. Yet take care about how others use you. Your life is a meaningful one. One that need not be dashed across the stones due to people who lack imagination as to who you could be.

[ And that's close to his own expectations for Giovanni. ]

A dog can, after all, be a tool. In the right hands.

[This man-- really, Giovanni doesn't know what to think of him. This kind of talk, it leaves him feeling incredulous, derisive...but a little interested, despite all that.]

And look, it's not as though I'd allow anyone to wield me. I'm no stray. So rest assured, I'm in no danger of being dashed.

[Only, his owner and creator is still locked in a frozen sleep, and without her guidance he feels lost and unmoored, a little more open to outside influence than he otherwise might have been. More inclined to look, unconsciously, for a substitute, until such a time as his true master wakes.]

Edited 2017-10-04 06:34 (UTC)

Then you have someone that looks out for you?

[Looks out for him is hardly the correct phrase-- dominates controls all-encompasses, blinds and lights up and obliterates. Mother. But of course, he says none of that.]

My creator is here. She has yet to awaken, but it's only a matter of time.

[Never mind that, if the Orbiters have any sense at all, they'll never unleash that force of pure chaos on this world. He could, and likely will be, waiting forever. But for the sake of his own sanity, he refuses to see it like that.]

[ Oh. Good. Kirei was concerned he would have to attempt to murder someone -- or ask Aranea to murder someone in order to get himself a dog. But creator? An odd way to say mother? Or the one that made him into the rabid beast? In any case-- ]

I understand. Until then, you have no one watching out for you, is that not so?

I suppose not.

[But he's managing, isn't he? More or less. Trying, despite that he has always felt better knowing the leash is held in someone else's hand.]

[ Don't be needy, Kirei. Who knew that he'd miss having a dog so much? Especially after what happened to Lancer? ]

Well, I am always willing to be a sympathetic ear to any of your plights, Giovanni.

[It's always nice to have a dog, who wouldn't long for that kind of devotion and obedience?]

Hahah, well. I'll bear that in mind.

[ Great for seeking and killing -- dogs are great. ]

Please do.

I would dislike greatly if you were left feeling alone.

[And seeking and killing happen to be things this particular dog excels at.

As for those statements-- well. They pluck at him, vaguely. He has always felt isolated, cut off, experienced loneliness like the sharpest of pains. But it's worse here, isn't it? Without Mother to pull the strings. Even Fruhling or the twins would be a welcome sight to him, right now.

But they remain in their pods, dreaming and distant.]

Would you, now. Your concern is truly touching.

[Said dryly, but perhaps there's something to it, all the same.]

[ SIGH. Best dog!

He really feels lucky that no one else seems to have their eye on the pooch. His city now, etc. etc. etc. ]

I would. Your life has meaning. Even if you only see yourself as a tool and dog, I see you as something more and so it is my desire to help you. [ To murder all the people. That healing you got is sick, son. SICK. He's jealous. He just has black mud powering him. It isn't great!! ]

[There really are benefits to being a genetically engineered killing machine. Drawbacks too, sure, but his regenerative capabilities are quite something.

He laughs though, quiet and dry, when once again Kirei makes that assertion.]

Any meaning I had was destroyed along with my home world. This city doesn't seem to have much use for my particular skills and inclinations. Do you know what they do with dogs bred to hunt, if hunting becomes prohibited?

I wouldn't let that happen to you.

[ So long as it isn't due to his own orders anyway. He usually would be wary letting anyone get too close to him -- that they would upset the plans he has set for himself. But he understands that few will understand him, yet sees the need to have some attack dog beyond Jeanne Alter. Good to have extra options for when one is metaphorically Satan. ]

[This man, his behaviour-- it really does confound him. Why Kirei show this level of interest is still beyond him. Rouses his suspicion and derision and his curiosity, in equal measure.]

Oh, I'm quite capable of defending myself, as you've already seen. But the fact remains, the destruction of my world has rendered me quite worthless.

[Even more so than he'd been before :{]

Then we are all worthless.

And if none of us have any worth, then there is no one more worthless than anyone else. However, that doesn't change that our lives still continue to have meaning even though our worlds are gone. Your life has meaning.

[ Even if that meaning is to be a dog. ]

[It's a strange thing to be told, when he's far more accustomed to being informed of his own lack of meaning, his own uselessness. Makes it difficult to believe.]

That's not quite true though, is it? Some skills are transferable to this world. There doesn't seem to be much use for hounds of war, from where I'm standing. I'm not much good for anything else.

I struggle to see the meaning in that.

There is meaning for you. [ He reiterates. Even if that meaning is just to show people how they should now live their lives, there is meaning. Sometimes, a person's existence is to act a lesson to others. ]

There is little worth in what I know. I doubt most people would like to hear the various hymns and passages that I have memorized. In short, the majority of my skills are worthless. Yet I will still call myself a priest, as you will hold onto your title of "hound of war."

The worthlessness of our existence may very well be more clear now, but that doesn't change the meaning in what we are have. [ Kirei doesn't yet understand the meaning of his existence, if he is honest. He hopes to come to understand it, however, and feels that he can find it here. All the same, he knows that his life has meaning just not what that meaning is. ]

Whatever helps you sleep at night, I suppose. But I can't say I agree.

[Overly optimistic, false-- that's how such sentiments seem to him. Never mind that there's a certain appeal to them, something he wants to believe in, if only he could. But his existence has always been short of meaning, as far as he's concerned.

Quietly, he laughs.]

We've gone a little astray, haven't we? You were asking about suitable gifts.

Everyone certainly seems concerned with how I sleep. [ More amused than anything else. ]

I was, yes. And we can return to that if you like.

[Especially funny, perhaps, coming from a guy who rarely sleeps at all, but Kirei isn't to know that.]

Alas, I think I've said all I can say on that matter. I've given you my only reasonable suggestion. Hahah.

Then what's unreasonable... and not the heart of her enemies?

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audio | un: priest

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