elnysa | audio | un: priest

[ This has been an emotionally draining few weeks for Rin. He notes how tired she just even though she refused to outright display any weakness in front of him. Kirei is fully aware that her title of sixth head of Tohsaka family has forced her to keep contact with him -- and by extension, Jeanne Alter.

As her legal guardian, he is aware he should do something to lower her unease and stress.
Yes, he could buy her some small trinket with the small amount of silver he has acquired. It would help to ease the tension between them a marginal some but still --

Or, he could buy something he knows she is obligated to take that purposely puts stress on her. Yes, he knows what he is going to do, but likes pretend there was another option. ]

Pardon me, everyone. I am attempting to buy a gift for one of my housemates, as it were.

I have only ever bought her gifts for birthdays and holidays and so I have no idea what to get for a 'just because.' Normally, I would think a new cellphone would be a kind gift but... well, I doubt I will find that here. In any case, what would be best?

[ Unless someone knows something he does not. ]

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[ in the distance he will be able to hear her screaming and continuing to expel obscenity after obscenity, to a degree which will not be written out.

after, like, a minute of this, she goes to her communicator again: ]

Don't be a piece of shit! Gifting a woman money doesn't make you her sugar daddy you asshole!

[ Asking the impossible, Ermes. ]

Oh? I was under the impression you didn't mind what people thought.

THAT'S NOT WHAT THIS IS ABOUT! It's about you calling me a gold digger!

[ . . . ]

That is what you're upset about, Ermes?

Of course it is!

I apologize for calling you a "gold digger," then.

--Ughh!!

[ god!!!!! ]

Never give me any goddamn money. Or any gifts of any kind.

And what am I to do when Christmas comes around?

[ It never will 'cause alien planet. HA-HA-HA. ]

[ UGH. ]

Send a shitty card in an ugly sweater like normal people do.

What is your favorite hymn? I shall attempt to have it stitched into it.

[ A small pause. ]

That is a question that you can't answer, is it not? I didn't take you as an avid reader of the Bible, or any religion when we spoke. It's not that you cannot be, of course, but there are those that feel like they know the Words and those that do not.

Still, if you ever want to learn and find your favorite ones, I would be more than happy to help you.

Is there a hymn about how religion is bullshit? Or that the idea of a higher being controlling your life is crazy? I'd also accept one that tells you to go fuck yourself!

I'm afraid there are none that match that criteria.

Also, a higher being does not control my life nor does he control yours. He gifted us free will so that we can believe and not believe in Him as we choose. We can act however we wish, because He made us as we are. Our fate and destiny is one that is within us, and it is our free will that eventually drives us toward that point.

Ok, but if he "gifted" us free will, isn't that still an exertion of control? "Hey you can do whatever you want, but only because I say so!"

It's not exacting control onto us but control onto Himself. God could very easily take control of our actions whenever he wants to, but He loves us. It is His belief in us shown in everything that we do. In truth, He could wave a hand to have us all believe in him, but that is not belief in a person.

Believing in someone because you are forced to believe in them, because you are given a command to believe in them is not belief. That is not love. That is nothing but hatred for another person.

See, but that's what I think is bullshit. If God is like that, then he just holds us hostage. If he can flip a switch and control us at any moment, that isn't love. If he's so powerful, he could remove the switch all together! Otherwise we're like dogs. Leashed unless we aren't.

No one has absolute control over anyone but themselves. Being responsible for your actions, the good and the bad - nothing is determined by a God.

He doesn't hold us hostage. You're thinking of him as a human person... that he could at any time change his mind. But he doesn't due to that eternal love that he has for us. If he were as a person, if his thoughts were as a human beings, he would have made everyone be believers in him. Yet his love for us is that he wants us to live however it is that we should live, that we desire to live.

The only thing determined by him is our birth. Because we have a pure wish to be born. In that, every single person that is born is created in his image because it is answered. That is ... gifted his love and free will. God knew what kind of person that you would be as much as he knew what kind of person I would be. And we are both here.

While I have never felt his love once, nor the light of his blessing, this I know to be truth.

--So wait a fucking second. You never felt the love of God, but you're goddamn preaching about what a fucking savior he is? You took a dip into the kool-aid one too many times. If he's so eternally loving, why doesn't he love you?

I said I have never felt the light of his love. I didn't say he didn't love me. There is a difference, Ermes.

Indeed, most would want some immediate or even eventual reward for belief. But that is not belief or faith. While I have not felt it, it doesn't stop me from believing I am here for a reason, that there is meaning to my life. Even now, when I could have slept for all eternity, I was awakened instead. Can you not call that a miracle?

Yet in this miracle, I feel no light for me. But perhaps, you now can.

Miracles are bullshit. [ she scoffs. he's sounding a lot like a certain piece of shit priest she hates, so really a lot of her aggression is aimed at kirei because it can't be aimed at the person she really despises. ] I get it, you're a priest, but no God ever helped me and never will.

Yet we are living in one... or a few.

[ LOLOL ]

Still, why do you believe one never would help you?

Experience. All I need to know.

And yet I believe one will help you.

After all, it has ended up with us tied together, has it not? Fate has allowed a nonbeliever to meet a believer, and allowed us to start the path to friendship. I cannot say that will be something you'll be happy about in the end, but well, such is life and free will.

Fate's bullshit. We met because there was a simulation and the Orbiters fucked up in waking you up normally by themselves. Don't get confused.

I am not confused.

They may have messed up in waking me up, but I was capable of waking up. That alone is a miracle.

For a self-depreciating guy, you sure have a big ass ego.

audio | un: priest

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AND THEN WE GOT RELIGIOUS UP IN HERE

blast an airhorn for jesus christ

ACCURATE

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