text | un: roman

[twofates]

What does it mean to love someone? How are you supposed to feel?

[ Hi, everyone. Have an awkward, developmentally-stunted dude who asks weird questions with no preamble. It's a heavy topic most people would probably prefer to discuss with close friends and family, not someone they've never met, but Roman doesn't think like that. It doesn't occur to him that some topics may not be appropriate to post on a network like this with relative strangers.

It doesn't occur to him that some people probably can't relate, or wouldn't care about this kind of inner turmoil. There are plenty of other things to worry about here, too, but these thoughts take precedence to him. Surviving in a strange new world is, to him, almost preferable to the struggles within, those of the heart and soul. ]

Some people don't deserve it, do they?

Comments

[tummyflowers]

[And it's a 100% true story too!]

Exactly! So, let me hack your back here. Who has you all spinned up,
hm?

[twofates]

[ For most of his life, it's been his mother and sister who've screwed him up. Neither one of them genuinely loved him, but he was certainly a useful pawn for them. He knows that now, at least. ]

I've met some people here who were kind when they didn't need to be. I like them.

[ Surely that's a helpful explanation, right... ]

[tummyflowers]

Ah and you've fallen in love with them for it? Well, can't say I don't identify with that a little bit.
Easy mistake to make, thinking that genuine human kindness is actually love.

[Or that a paid nanny actually loves you when your parents don't because hey, Richard's been there.]

[twofates]

I don't know if it's love. No one I know has ever loved me so I don't know what it feels like.

[ Over text, it could probably sound like self-pity, but Roman simply has no filter. He's just stating a pure fact. ]

[tummyflowers]

I feel you there, my friend. I often think about what it feels like,
though. Probably a bit warm, I imagine. Like a large, familiar blanket.

[This IS self-pity. Also pure fact. But self-pity too.]