text | un: roman

[twofates]

What does it mean to love someone? How are you supposed to feel?

[ Hi, everyone. Have an awkward, developmentally-stunted dude who asks weird questions with no preamble. It's a heavy topic most people would probably prefer to discuss with close friends and family, not someone they've never met, but Roman doesn't think like that. It doesn't occur to him that some topics may not be appropriate to post on a network like this with relative strangers.

It doesn't occur to him that some people probably can't relate, or wouldn't care about this kind of inner turmoil. There are plenty of other things to worry about here, too, but these thoughts take precedence to him. Surviving in a strange new world is, to him, almost preferable to the struggles within, those of the heart and soul. ]

Some people don't deserve it, do they?

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[twofates]

No one can hurt me anymore.

[ As if he thinks he's some kind of impenetrable island these days. His entire life has been one betrayal after another, he wouldn't expect differently. ]

[underachievement]

[ Sounds like bullshit to her. But then if it's not she can't afford to miss out on the secret. ]

Why's that?

[twofates]

There's nothing left to hurt.

[ Or so he thinks. Probably by the nature of his very questions, he's making a liar of himself. ]

[underachievement]

[ A pretty bad one. ]

We're all here because we have something left [ "Incentives" more like bureaucratic blackmail. Hey at least it's handy for objectifying recovery, that she can use. ]

[twofates]

[ He's very good at killing people. He seems to excel at that; hurting people, making sure their belief that he's just a monster is reinforced. Though he wants to be more than all of that, and he wants to leave that terrible past behind him. ]

What do you have left?

[underachievement]

Sister

[ They don't share a name so it wouldn't help anyone figure out which sleeping beauty is her. Honestly, Malcolm counts too but Jess is still super 'sclusy about the list of people she cares about and she's not game to field any questions or comments on romance. ]

[twofates]

[ Well, this is a pile of complicated for him now. His sister is in one of those pods, too. ]

You'd do anything for her?

[underachievement]

[ Oh wow look at the time. It's time to drink so much more. ]

Does this count?

[twofates]

If we say it does. [ On his end, though, despite the tumultuous thoughts that always arise when he thinks of his sister, he can't help being a little amused by her comment. ] You're a good sister to have around.

[underachievement]

[ She gets her own kick out of that. Less kind by a half. Trish wouldn't disagree though she would have a qualifier to make the compliment tolerable. The two of them are perfectly equal in wrongness. ]

I'm an asshole with a weak spot

[twofates]

Well. I like talking to you.

[ She's honest. He likes that. He's craved that, and he doesn't care how brutal her honesty may or may not be at any given moment. ]

So you're an asshole. I don't know what I am.

[underachievement]

[ See how long that lasts, romeo. ]

What's that got to do with [ ugh genuine gag ] love

[twofates]

I wouldn't know. But does it feel better having an identity?

[underachievement]

You have an identity
Its mostly based on a 90s song but you have it

[twofates]

All I ever wanted.

[ He's actually never heard that song before. He's a little amused. ]

[underachievement]

[ To learn that wouldn't surprise her. ]

And look at that its even possible to drag sarcasm out of you

[twofates]

It's nice to be unpredictable sometimes.

[underachievement]

[ speaking of predictable ] A lot of people are gonna say you have to love yourself before you can love anyone else but that's just some bullshit made up by zoloft

[twofates]

Why would I have to love myself first?

[underachievement]

The idea is that you'll treat other people better