video; un: ROCKET | happiness is a warm gun

[beatupgrass]

[Here we have Rocket, our local raccoonoid, contributing his part of the planning.]

So I don't know shit about dragons, but I do know a few things about fightin' giant monsters, and I want these dudes to fail so bad in their stupid plan that they die humiliated. That would give me an extreme amount of satisfaction. So! I got a proposal.

See, everybody's got their little contributions to this cause, and this is mine- I build things. Specifically, I build gadgets. Tech, weapons, bombs... Mostly those last two. The problem is that unless y'all want me to start ripping non-essentials off the station while those Natha jerks are off on vacation or whatever, I don't have the materials to arm everybody who wants it.

Ergo if you want bigger and badder weapons, you need to come to Wyver and bring me whatever you got that I can make something worth your while with. We'll discuss the payment particulars later.

Comments

[beatupgrass]

You can have a free pile of unlabeled grenades. I made 'em during a fit of insomnia and I have no idea what they do.

[nostalgiabomb]

[ A pause, then, ]

... What could they possibly do other than blow up?

[ And he casts the words warily, like he has no idea what kind of answer he’s expecting, or if he even wants to hear it. ]

[beatupgrass]

Y'know... Blind people, stun people, smoke people out... I think one might be an EMP, but I don't have as much use for it here.

[nostalgiabomb]

—Wait.

Is that what pile of, like, ping-pong balls are? Those are grenades?

[beatupgrass]

Are you about to tell me you used my highly dangerous weapons like ping-pong balls, Quill?

[nostalgiabomb]

Of course I didn’t. [ honestly, Rocket. The nerve of you.

... doesn’t mean Peter hadn’t thought about tossing one around out of boredom. ]

You really need to get into the habit of leaving signs, though.

“Do Not Touch. Will Definitely Kill You.”

[beatupgrass]

I like the casual fear it instills, and it discourages people from getting grabby with my stuff.

[Like a five year old licking all the cookies so no one else can have any.]

[nostalgiabomb]

Sure, but someone accidentally nudging something because they thought it was just a radio but was actually a bomb would blow up all your stuff.

Signs, Rocket. C’mon.

[beatupgrass]

I'll consider it for the future. I'm trying to arm a massive amount of morons against an undead dragon here.

[nostalgiabomb]

Yeah. About that.

Are you sure there shouldn't be some sorta vetting process, here?

[beatupgrass]

Eh, worst case scenario they blow themselves up and we have less morons. Unless you think they're gonna go kill happy.

And that's what the EMP grenades are for.

[nostalgiabomb]

So your plan to prevent folks from blowing stuff up is to potentially blow more stuff up.

[beatupgrass]

It just fries all the unprotected equipment in a certain radius. Don't get your undies in a twist, man. This ain't my first shitshow- I always come prepared.

[nostalgiabomb]

I'm just saying, wouldn't it be a lot easier on everyone if you just, I dunno, handed out a quick questionnaire?

"You see a defenseless kitten on the street. Would you kick it? Check 'yes' or 'no.'"

[beatupgrass]

That would be a great idea if that stupid dragon weren't literally about to be knockin' down our doors. If we live, then I'll start screening.