[Chuuya is very much trembling now, and the tears that he’d been holding back come sliding down his cheeks in a way that hasn’t happened since he was a child. Everything he’s known about Dazai, about Mori, about his own part in the grand scheme of things is false, built on the assumption that Dazai left of his own accord. How is he supposed to face that now? Chuuya’s strength and indomitable will have never been so shaken, and it shows in the form of warm wetness on his cheeks.
Dazai’s hand isn’t pushed away like it would be any other time. Right now he desperately needs the contact, whether he’ll ever admit it or not.]
You’d have just fucking died and left me there?! Why the hell would I want that?? You stupid bastard!!
[Chuuya can’t help the way his voice wavers now, as shaky and fragile as the legs of a newborn deer. Never has Chuuya ever sounded so utterly helpless.]
I hated you for so long because of what you did, and I hated Odasaku for being close to you. And it was all for nothing.
[Perhaps Chuuya still does resent Odasaku’s bond with Dazai even now, but how can he feel good about hating a dead man?]
You did it for him too, right? Because you hated the boss for setting it up.
[Blue eyes, welled up with tears, fix on Dazai’s face, searching for answers. Even now there’s so many things about about Dazai that Chuuya doesn’t know, and it’s not going to fly anymore.]
no subject
[Chuuya is very much trembling now, and the tears that he’d been holding back come sliding down his cheeks in a way that hasn’t happened since he was a child. Everything he’s known about Dazai, about Mori, about his own part in the grand scheme of things is false, built on the assumption that Dazai left of his own accord. How is he supposed to face that now? Chuuya’s strength and indomitable will have never been so shaken, and it shows in the form of warm wetness on his cheeks.
Dazai’s hand isn’t pushed away like it would be any other time. Right now he desperately needs the contact, whether he’ll ever admit it or not.]
You’d have just fucking died and left me there?! Why the hell would I want that?? You stupid bastard!!
[Chuuya can’t help the way his voice wavers now, as shaky and fragile as the legs of a newborn deer. Never has Chuuya ever sounded so utterly helpless.]
I hated you for so long because of what you did, and I hated Odasaku for being close to you. And it was all for nothing.
[Perhaps Chuuya still does resent Odasaku’s bond with Dazai even now, but how can he feel good about hating a dead man?]
You did it for him too, right? Because you hated the boss for setting it up.
[Blue eyes, welled up with tears, fix on Dazai’s face, searching for answers. Even now there’s so many things about about Dazai that Chuuya doesn’t know, and it’s not going to fly anymore.]
You joined the ADA because of him.