[Video] un: spanglethesestars

[ukase]

[Rumlow has his set-up casual, his feet up on the table, and there's a toothpick sticking out the left side of his mouth. He's clearly sitting with two feet of the chair off the ground, but more predominant might be the healed burn scars that mark the left side of his face but particularly around his eyes. Much of the burns has clearly healed (miracle of pod life), but there is enough there to speak of previous considerable damage. His hair looks great though.]

New here. You don't care, and that's great. I'm looking for information on one subject in particular, so I won't waste time with semantics.

I need information on dragons. Specifically anatomy and how to kill them. I've got a wager with my future wife where she wants me to be the knight in shining armor and slay a dragon, but aside from the komodo kind, we don't have dragons where I'm from.

[He picks the toothpick from his mouth, twirling it in his fingers.]

Sure hope these ones taste like chicken though.

[He winks at the camera, offering a charming grin. Oh right, he wants to name drop because he knows it will annoy the person in question to the maximum degree.]

Also, if anyone knows Jessica Jones. Hit me up.

[He offers a mock little salute and the video ends.]

Comments

[assholic]

[She was not drunk enough for this. Where was her bott-- there it was.]

Do I really need to point out that I was joking? Though, hey, if you want the entire city screaming for your blood, go for it. Then I won't have to lift a finger.

[ukase]

[So she's a drinker. That actually explains some of the details of their conversation.]

You didn't text like you were joking. People put 'jk' at the end, so I took you seriously, and now I'm all heart broken.

[He sighs dramatically, and he does an incredible chestfallen expression a moment later.]

First woman to ever threaten to crush me up and throw me in a dumpster. My life has no meaning.

[He smirks again and lifts his hands for emphasis.]

Just kiddin'. See, that's how it's done, doll.

[assholic]

Oh, I wasn't kidding about the hurting you beyond recognition thing. Just about you having Frosty's nutsack's chance in hell of a shot with me. I'm not into crazy. Been there, done that.

[ukase]

[She always knows how to say the right things to him. He puts on his best smitten face.]

All these promises. So what are you into, aside from the bottle you're chugging?

[assholic]

[She's had enough crazy after her to not be entirely sure if he's playing or not. Best to crush his dreams entirely than keep even a sliver of a possibility that this was a thing that could exist.]

Vaginas. So unless you've got one, I guess you're shit out of luck.

[ukase]

[Oh, she's such a tease. He likes that.]

Yeah, you do kind of act like a dyke, but you were too specific about it being a dragon dick to actually be one. I'll give you bi, if you really want.

[assholic]

And how about if I tell you I'm into corpses? You going to indulge my necrophilia by offing yourself?

[ukase]

Hardly, but I've dealt with enough corpses in my lifetime to know where to dig.

[assholic]

Let's just put it this way, Krueger-lite; what I'm into, you don't have.

[ukase]

Who's Krueger?

[Sounds like someone worth looking into.]

[assholic]

Not into much 80s horror, are you. Freddy. Nightmare on Elm Street. Burned alive and affectionately referred to as pizza face. You bear a resemblance.

[And now she grinned, because insulting people made her happy.]

[ukase]

Don't have time for 80s horror; too busy skirt-chasing obviously. Also, I wasn't burned alive, so you're off the mark, doll.

[He blew her a kiss anyway.]

Still love ya.

[assholic]

I still hope you die an agonizing death.

[Ugh, Brock. Ruin her day, why don't you.]

[ukase]

And that right there is why I keep on coming after you, doll.

Threats are likely illegal, but I like 'em anyway.

[assholic]

I'm kind of hoping you take some magic potion that makes you want to go fuck a crocodile's mouth. I'd popcorn that. Call me if that happens.

[ukase]

What if I drink a magic potion that makes me really strong? Will you still arm wrestle me, or will that be too much for you to handle?

You're adorably saucy. [Another kiss.]

[assholic]

There is nothing about you that's too much for me to handl-

[Shit.]

I'm going to rip your goddamn lips off.

[ukase]

[He smirks in that knowing 'I gotcha' way, enjoying himself rather thoroughly.]

Temper, temper, doll. You give a lot away, and that's just no fun.

[assholic]

So if I were to come running into your arms with my legs spread, you'd give up?

[ukase]

[He squints at her. Is she drunk?]

That would be either an amazing cow-boy jaunt, or you're talking about physical impossibilities, since you can't run and spread your legs far enough to be that interested.

[assholic]

You haven't seen all my tricks yet, Pizza face.

[That little nugget made her smile. She had one up on him, and that was knowing what she could do. Which was... a lot.]

[ukase]

Oh doll, I am so looking forward to seeing them all one-by-one or all at once. I'm not picky, as long as you show me everything you've got.

[He smiles his most charming. Can you hear the excited pitter-patter of his heart? No? Probably because there isn't one. He's a professional after all.]

[assholic]

[Ugh. She was so going to need to shower after this call. With bleach.]

I got something to show you.

[With that, she lifted her hand and showed him her middle finger, along with a disgusted look, and then she ended the call.

Fuck her life.]

[ukase]

[He claps and then throws his hands up above his head.]

YES! I told that old Frenchie that you only had a sweet bone in your body in the middle digit. It feels so good to be right!

[Doesn't matter to him that she's gone. The fact is that she engaged.]