video; un: eproghuefgdzptrrw

[vorrutyer]

[ Unlike any of Byerly’s previous posts, which consisted of him monologuing interminably, this post looks to be a dialogue. There are actually two people on screen - Byerly’s lanky, elegant, sloe-eyed self, and next to him a small odd-looking fellow with intense features and a too-large head set on a hunched spine. For all the differences between them, though, the two look like they could be brothers, or at least cousins - similar noses, similar bone structure, similar skin tone, similar hair color. Ah, the products of Barrayaran inbreeding.

You can tell who set up the camera by the framing. Byerly is centered, and sitting at an angle that best shows off his fine features. Miles Vorkosigan, the small fellow, is squished off into a corner of the frame. By is the first to speak, too. ]

Bonsoir, lovely fellows and ladies. Your bosom friend and brother Byerly here with an important announcement. Though you have known me as His Imperial Majesty Byerly II of Barrayar, now I’m just plain By, because my position has been usurped. [ A fake mournful sigh. ] Brutal civil war. Deadly. Horrible. I’ve been dealt a monstrous blow.

[ Miles, meanwhile, just kind of rolls his eyes skyward. Spare him from his cousin’s melodrama. ] If by “usurped” you mean “assumed rightful authority,” then yes. I usurped you. With little resistance, I might add. [ A pause; he straightens his small frame as best he can - not that it’s especially effective given the camera angle. ] Did you really go around calling yourself His Imperial Majesty Byerly II?

But of course. [ Byerly blinks in mock-innocence. ] Sire, don’t tell me that you don’t see the Imperial office as worthy of respect. I was simply demanding the dignity due to the camp stool.

Is it more dignified to lose it to a civil war too? [ Miles arches a brow in turn. ] I could fight you, I suppose.

Oh, please don’t do that, sire. [ By’s expression is a reasonable approximation of pained. ] I don’t want to hurt you. He’s very fragile, you see. [ The last is said conspiratorially to the audience, as though Miles couldn’t hear. And, swiftly, before he can be executed for treason - ] So I wished to introduce my dear sometime-cousin and current-overlord to the network, as a grand announcement of an enormous life change, and an announcement that I will of course be hosting a coronation party for him.

-- What?

[ There’s not even the slightest twinkle of amusement in Byerly’s face; he looks perfectly solemn as he explains - ]

It is, of course, customary for those invited to a coronation to bring gifts of tribute. I would not presume to speak for my lord Emperor, but I might suggest gifts of alcohol. Or something a little harder than alcohol? A fellow does grow tired of only being drunk, and the Emperor is quite a fan of stimulants, which is why you’ll hear him babble endlessly, all the time. Would that suit you, sire?

[ Miles has been working his mouth like a frog in the background this whole time; he still sputters a moment, staring at Byerly in disbelief. ] I never agreed to a party, By -- [ He interrupts himself with a beautiful stream of cursing in Greek. ] For god’s sake, that won’t be necessary.

[ Loudly, speaking over his Emperor - ] That sounds like a yes to me! I’ll see you all tomorrow night. [ And with a wink, he cuts the feed. ]


[ ooc: blue is Byerly, red is Miles ]

Comments

text; un: armstrong

[wallofbriggs]

Congratulations.

Don't expect it to mean much.

[vorrutyer]

Are you saying you won't immediately rush to fall upon your knees before the majesty of the Barrayaran camp stool? You'd fit right in, you know. They'd adore you.

[wallofbriggs]

I don't get on my knees for anyone.

I'm guessing that means I'd hate them.

[vorrutyer]

On the contrary. Barrayar is a military aristocracy. You'd fit in well.

[wallofbriggs]

One of the reasons I joined the military was to get away from the aristocracy.

[vorrutyer]

Does it help that they're far keener on muscular brutality than they are on niceties and parties and pleasant things that a slender and peace-loving fellow like me could enjoy?

[wallofbriggs]

So they spout less bullshit.

I'm not interested in mindless brutality either. Might only makes right, when used for the correct purposes.

[vorrutyer]

All right, I take it back. There's literally no pleasing you.

[wallofbriggs]

Not all of us can be as much of a people pleaser as yourself. Or as pleased.

I've found it's better to make my own judgments about people one on one.
That you offered few arguments to my thoughts suggests you possibly agreed with me on them, though.

[vorrutyer]

Which thoughts am I supposed to be agreeing with, now?

[wallofbriggs]

Let's start with the less bullshit.

[vorrutyer]

Don't be ridiculous. Surely you've noticed by now - I adore bullshit.

[wallofbriggs]

How could anyone miss that and still be alive?

And perhaps I should have specified, less bullshit than comes from you.

[dendarii]

Of course it doesn't. Only to Barrayarans, and there are only two who are awake at the moment.

[wallofbriggs]

You might be surprised how many may think otherwise.

[dendarii]

Really? I've seen none so far.

[wallofbriggs]

I've met a few. Whether or not they have a true claim to anything, or would have at home.

[dendarii]

Ah. Well, it won't be us. This isn't our planet.

[wallofbriggs]

You have a much better grasp on things than some others.

[dendarii]

Barrayarans are a practical people. And I no despot.

[wallofbriggs]

I can't say whether or not Barrayarans are, but you appear so.

Congratulations again, this time for not being stupid.

[dendarii]

Thank you. I think.

... With whom am I speaking?

[wallofbriggs]

Oliver Armstrong.

If you want to get into former titles, Major General of the Amestrian Army.

I could technically also claim to be the Amestrian Fuhrer, Xingese Empress, Queen of Xerxes [who cares if it's been gone for over 400 years],... [and whatever the titles of the rulers of the rest of the FMA world go by].

I won't however.

[dendarii]

[ He gets what she's saying, but he's annoyed anyway. ]

You act as though I'm claiming my homeworld's throne just out of being the closest by proxy.

[wallofbriggs]

Not at all.

Xerxes was destroyed 400 years ago, I'm not Xingenese, and I would have preferred to be properly given the Fuhrership.

If the title is yours by whatever manner your people would have, or will accept, then by means, enjoy it.