video; un: eproghuefgdzptrrw

[vorrutyer]

[ Unlike any of Byerly’s previous posts, which consisted of him monologuing interminably, this post looks to be a dialogue. There are actually two people on screen - Byerly’s lanky, elegant, sloe-eyed self, and next to him a small odd-looking fellow with intense features and a too-large head set on a hunched spine. For all the differences between them, though, the two look like they could be brothers, or at least cousins - similar noses, similar bone structure, similar skin tone, similar hair color. Ah, the products of Barrayaran inbreeding.

You can tell who set up the camera by the framing. Byerly is centered, and sitting at an angle that best shows off his fine features. Miles Vorkosigan, the small fellow, is squished off into a corner of the frame. By is the first to speak, too. ]

Bonsoir, lovely fellows and ladies. Your bosom friend and brother Byerly here with an important announcement. Though you have known me as His Imperial Majesty Byerly II of Barrayar, now I’m just plain By, because my position has been usurped. [ A fake mournful sigh. ] Brutal civil war. Deadly. Horrible. I’ve been dealt a monstrous blow.

[ Miles, meanwhile, just kind of rolls his eyes skyward. Spare him from his cousin’s melodrama. ] If by “usurped” you mean “assumed rightful authority,” then yes. I usurped you. With little resistance, I might add. [ A pause; he straightens his small frame as best he can - not that it’s especially effective given the camera angle. ] Did you really go around calling yourself His Imperial Majesty Byerly II?

But of course. [ Byerly blinks in mock-innocence. ] Sire, don’t tell me that you don’t see the Imperial office as worthy of respect. I was simply demanding the dignity due to the camp stool.

Is it more dignified to lose it to a civil war too? [ Miles arches a brow in turn. ] I could fight you, I suppose.

Oh, please don’t do that, sire. [ By’s expression is a reasonable approximation of pained. ] I don’t want to hurt you. He’s very fragile, you see. [ The last is said conspiratorially to the audience, as though Miles couldn’t hear. And, swiftly, before he can be executed for treason - ] So I wished to introduce my dear sometime-cousin and current-overlord to the network, as a grand announcement of an enormous life change, and an announcement that I will of course be hosting a coronation party for him.

-- What?

[ There’s not even the slightest twinkle of amusement in Byerly’s face; he looks perfectly solemn as he explains - ]

It is, of course, customary for those invited to a coronation to bring gifts of tribute. I would not presume to speak for my lord Emperor, but I might suggest gifts of alcohol. Or something a little harder than alcohol? A fellow does grow tired of only being drunk, and the Emperor is quite a fan of stimulants, which is why you’ll hear him babble endlessly, all the time. Would that suit you, sire?

[ Miles has been working his mouth like a frog in the background this whole time; he still sputters a moment, staring at Byerly in disbelief. ] I never agreed to a party, By -- [ He interrupts himself with a beautiful stream of cursing in Greek. ] For god’s sake, that won’t be necessary.

[ Loudly, speaking over his Emperor - ] That sounds like a yes to me! I’ll see you all tomorrow night. [ And with a wink, he cuts the feed. ]


[ ooc: blue is Byerly, red is Miles ]

Comments

[vorrutyer]

[ Yeah. By's smile doesn't falter. No outward sign of the momentary tweak of disgust he feels towards himself, with all he's done reflected in Miles' eyes. ]

And? It's not so different from what I did to serve ImpSec. [ Nor from what he did to survive, back in his early days in Vorbarr Sultana, after he left home - penniless and without a refuge, he'd slept with plenty of people just to have a bed for the night and access to their kitchens in the morning. But while he's shared that story with any number of people, he's not going to tell it to Miles. ]

[dendarii]

[ Sorry, Byerly. He's half-Betan, and fresh off his stint on Beta Colony, but - even so. He makes another face. ]

I can't believe ImpSec would ask that of you.

[vorrutyer]

[ A slightly sour laugh. ]

No? What, do you imagine I'm one of those dashing fellows storming the residences of accused traitors? Or an accomplished fast-penta interrogator? [ He spreads his hands. ] It's astonishing how much information can be gotten just by sleeping with someone who, afterwards, will give anything to make sure that word of their indiscretion didn't get out.

[ He drops his hands, then bows deeply. ]

All for Barrayar, my liege.

[dendarii]

[ Miles just sits there in sullen silence a moment. Unable to argue with By, but stubbornly refusing to admit that ImpSec would, in fact, request such a thing. Or at least encourage the results. ]

You shouldn't have to. We can find another way here.

[vorrutyer]

[ Another short laugh. ]

Seeking to rescue me from my life of misery? I never would have thought you'd care so much, Miles.

[dendarii]

It's just not dignified, Byerly. This isn't Beta Colony.

[vorrutyer]

I don't want to upset you, Miles - I know this might be news to you. But nothing I've ever done for Barrayar has been dignified.

[dendarii]

Well you needn't if you don't want to. We can find other ways.

[vorrutyer]

Ooh, and do you have any suggestions? Shall I become a secretary?

[dendarii]

I - don't know what options are available. Maybe that. I don't know.

[vorrutyer]

And how is that better-suited to a member of the High Vor?

[dendarii]

It's not - prostitution, Byerly.

[vorrutyer]

No, but it's still work that's beneath me. The only real difference between this and that is that I'm actually quite good at prostitution.

[dendarii]

-- No details, please.

[vorrutyer]

Shouldn't a Betan like yourself be more at peace with sex?

[ He shakes his head. ]

Besides, sire, this job comes with certain advantages.

[dendarii]

Such as?

[vorrutyer]

[ He takes a bit of a breath. ]

I'm sure you've noticed the Olympian attitude towards sex.

[dendarii]

It's been a whirlwind so far. Enlighten me?

[vorrutyer]

Let's say they're more Betan than Barrayaran.

[dendarii]

Ah. So - it's a normal profession here?

[vorrutyer]

I'm like a Licensed Practical Sexuality Therapist, minus the license and the therapy.

[ A shrug. ]

It's more than normal. It's smiled upon. Particularly by the hedonistic Empress of this place.

[dendarii]

[ Miles wrinkles his nose a bit. ]

They really twisted your arm, I see.

[vorrutyer]

[ Byerly rolls his eyes heavenward and pronounces, carefully - ]

And sometimes, particularly famous and skilled brothel workers get invited directly into Simwe's court.

[dendarii]

[ Ah. That sets off the lightbulb. ]

... Infiltration, then.

[vorrutyer]

Something a bit less sinister than that. Simple presence of a refugee voice. A whisper in her ear that might steer her away from waging war on our Wyver comrades.