video; un: eproghuefgdzptrrw

[vorrutyer]

[ Unlike any of Byerly’s previous posts, which consisted of him monologuing interminably, this post looks to be a dialogue. There are actually two people on screen - Byerly’s lanky, elegant, sloe-eyed self, and next to him a small odd-looking fellow with intense features and a too-large head set on a hunched spine. For all the differences between them, though, the two look like they could be brothers, or at least cousins - similar noses, similar bone structure, similar skin tone, similar hair color. Ah, the products of Barrayaran inbreeding.

You can tell who set up the camera by the framing. Byerly is centered, and sitting at an angle that best shows off his fine features. Miles Vorkosigan, the small fellow, is squished off into a corner of the frame. By is the first to speak, too. ]

Bonsoir, lovely fellows and ladies. Your bosom friend and brother Byerly here with an important announcement. Though you have known me as His Imperial Majesty Byerly II of Barrayar, now I’m just plain By, because my position has been usurped. [ A fake mournful sigh. ] Brutal civil war. Deadly. Horrible. I’ve been dealt a monstrous blow.

[ Miles, meanwhile, just kind of rolls his eyes skyward. Spare him from his cousin’s melodrama. ] If by “usurped” you mean “assumed rightful authority,” then yes. I usurped you. With little resistance, I might add. [ A pause; he straightens his small frame as best he can - not that it’s especially effective given the camera angle. ] Did you really go around calling yourself His Imperial Majesty Byerly II?

But of course. [ Byerly blinks in mock-innocence. ] Sire, don’t tell me that you don’t see the Imperial office as worthy of respect. I was simply demanding the dignity due to the camp stool.

Is it more dignified to lose it to a civil war too? [ Miles arches a brow in turn. ] I could fight you, I suppose.

Oh, please don’t do that, sire. [ By’s expression is a reasonable approximation of pained. ] I don’t want to hurt you. He’s very fragile, you see. [ The last is said conspiratorially to the audience, as though Miles couldn’t hear. And, swiftly, before he can be executed for treason - ] So I wished to introduce my dear sometime-cousin and current-overlord to the network, as a grand announcement of an enormous life change, and an announcement that I will of course be hosting a coronation party for him.

-- What?

[ There’s not even the slightest twinkle of amusement in Byerly’s face; he looks perfectly solemn as he explains - ]

It is, of course, customary for those invited to a coronation to bring gifts of tribute. I would not presume to speak for my lord Emperor, but I might suggest gifts of alcohol. Or something a little harder than alcohol? A fellow does grow tired of only being drunk, and the Emperor is quite a fan of stimulants, which is why you’ll hear him babble endlessly, all the time. Would that suit you, sire?

[ Miles has been working his mouth like a frog in the background this whole time; he still sputters a moment, staring at Byerly in disbelief. ] I never agreed to a party, By -- [ He interrupts himself with a beautiful stream of cursing in Greek. ] For god’s sake, that won’t be necessary.

[ Loudly, speaking over his Emperor - ] That sounds like a yes to me! I’ll see you all tomorrow night. [ And with a wink, he cuts the feed. ]


[ ooc: blue is Byerly, red is Miles ]

Comments

[dendarii]

I prefer to be called Miles, actually.

[assholic]

I prefer not to be sober and to not be on a planet that doesn't have Uber or a decent Starbucks. Yet here we are.

[dendarii]

Two of those things can be fixed. I'll find you a bottle of something if you call me by my name?

[assholic]

[That was... tempting.]

That mean I'm getting invited to your little shindig?

[dendarii]

Why not? There'll be no liege swearing, if you're concerned about that. Just as much wine as we can gather.

[assholic]

I'm not concerned about not having to kiss someone's ass. I'm capable of saying no to that all on my own.

Maybe I'll see about bringing something to share.

Oh, and do I have your express permission to continue screwing your 'subject'?

[dendarii]

[ Miles had been ready to respond to all of that - any of that - but the last comment brings him up short. ]

Really? Already? How long has he even been here?

[assholic]

Longer than me. But you'll have to ask him about where he worked before you joined us down here on planet old-school.

Don't give him too much shit over it. There's things here that sort of

push it.

[dendarii]

Push what, precisely?

[assholic]

Everything. They call it 'magic'. I call it bullshit. But it can make people do things they wouldn't. If you find yourself naked and covered in goo, don't be so quick to blame yourself.

[dendarii]

[ It still takes Miles a moment to connect all those dots - ]

Wait - are you referring to some sort of magical aphrodisiac?

[assholic]

Sometimes. Sometimes it's gold glitter making you dance at a party. From what I hear, it's a common occurrence here. So just watch what you drink. Or eat.

[dendarii]

[ That. Um. Actually, that answers a mystery for him. There's a long pause before he responds. ]

Fun, under the right circumstances... Less so when having you do something you'd rather not.

[assholic]

I prefer to make my decisions myself, not have glitter or a potion make it for me.

[Someone had consent issues, Miles.]

They usually mark most things at parties, so I'm told, but I'd watch it. Ask By. He should have a better handle on what you should and shouldn't put in your mouth.

[dendarii]

[ No arguments from Miles. ]

That surprises me not at all. Byerly was always rather scandalous.

[assholic]

He's fun at a party.

[Smirk.]

He also seems to have figured out the best way to just skate by here, so he's also kind of useful.

[dendarii]

[ That. Uh. Wait, he's finally putting this together. ]

Has Byerly been involved in sex work?

[assholic]

That's not my question to answer. You want to know what he's been up to, get it from him.

[dendarii]

He'll not give me a straight answer.

[assholic]

Well, he is bi.

[Both a pun and his name. See? She found that funny.]

[dendarii]

[ Pretty good, Jessica. ]

As I found out, yes...

[assholic]

Makes it hard to get a straight answer...

[Yep. She was amusing herself now.]

[dendarii]

Yes. Yes, I got it the first time.

[assholic]

Which means you're not going to get one from me. His life. His shit. I'd just like to be able to play with him now and then if paths cross.

[dendarii]

Fine, fine. I'll ask him.