TEXT | un: nightray

[yelliot]

_{[After about half an hour of trying to figure out how to post with his phone, Elliot's using the network for the first time. Does he have something important to report? Well, that depends on if cats matter to you or not...]}

My friend found a cat.

_{[Ah yes, the classic 'asking for a friend technique' in action. Always works, never fails.]}

They don't know what to name it, so I'm asking for suggestions. This is what it looks like.

Don't suggest stupid names either! A cat like this deserves a really good name!

Comments

[yelliot]

No gross! My sister!

[catfident]

[ oh. that's boring ]

what's so gross about naming a cat after a girl? people do it all the time

[yelliot]

Yeah but my sister isn't my girlfriend.

[catfident]

does that mean you don't have a girlfriend

[yelliot]

Why would I have a girlfriend?

[catfident]

[ that's fair, she doesn't know if this is a guy or a girl ]

does that mean you have a boyfriend instead

[yelliot]

I think so...
Yes?

[catfident]

so then why not name the cat after your boyfriend

[yelliot]

Because it's a girl cat.

[catfident]

you can give females male names


you realize that right

[yelliot]

...Yes.

[catfident]

[ alright, she'll quit it now. leave him to his marital dispute with his new boyfriend. ]

good luck with nessy then

don't let her get fat

[yelliot]

I won't?! I'll be good to her!

[catfident]

a lot of people assume that means spoiling their cats with treats



and thereby getting their cats fat

[yelliot]

I won't do that.

action;

[flips]

[ and after elliot sends the text, a book flies across the room and smacks him in the head. ]

[yelliot]

_{[Cue screaming.]}

OW! LEO?! WHAT THE HELL?

[flips]

"Boyfriend"?

[yelliot]

Huh? What are you talking about?

_{[Wait a moment.]}

...Were you reading my cat post?

[flips]

[ yes ]

Did you mean me?

[yelliot]

Yeah? Who else?

_{[Are you fucking dumb? He'll just be rubbing his head now. That smarts.]}

[flips]

Since when did we start dating?

[yelliot]

I thought we were...after...you know...

_{[Oh my god no...what is happening? Are you fucking with him right now?]}

[flips]

...


You could have asked me first.

[yelliot]

...Shit.

_{[Guess who is red in the face and fidgety right now? That's right, it's ya boy Elliot Nightray. He feels like a total fucking idiot. He wants to die.]}

I thought if I asked you and gave you flowers or something you'd throw them in my face or make fun of me!