video | username: Foxy

[inreturn]

Alright! How’s everyone doing today? Great? Not so great? You can tell me all about it—but wait just a sec. There's something I want to ask.

[Kaden fidgets with his device. He’s not quite sure where to point it, but eventually his face appears! And there are his ears, bouncing a little, flicking as he starts to talk.]

Does anyone know where I can find someone named Shura? I was looking all over for her at the gala. Let’s see...she has red hair, she loves food on a stick, she does odd jobs, and she likes talking about socks. Anyone know anyone like that? I owe her for a big favor she did me! See? [He moves the camera to a set of fancy chocolates.] They’re alcohol-filled chocolates! What will they think of next? She's going to love them. [He turns the camera back to himself, beaming.] If you can help me, I’ll owe you a big favor, too. It’s important that I give these to her right away. Thanks!

[But wait! There’s more. He pauses just long enough to segue, his smile fading a little.]

The atmosphere’s a little tense lately, but I don't need to point that out. I was just thinking that I’ve never really been to Olympia, so I should check out what that’s all about, right? So, I’m also looking for a tour guide! If anyone wants to show me all the sights...all the best places to eat, all the best places to nap, and where to find the best tail-brushers...I’d really appreciate it! Doesn’t that sound like a lot of fun? Plus, you get to spend time with me! Kaden!

Just answer if you think you can help, alright? And don’t be shy! I might be a kitsune, but I don’t bite unless I have a good reason. I promise.

Comments

[beatupgrass]

[YEAH THANKS FOR REMINDING HIM.]

No, I can't. Aside from not bein' able to reach shit, I happen to like my form.

[Most days.] And I definitely wouldn't choose to be bald-bodied if I had my way of it.

[inreturn]

[No problem, friend!]

Bald-bodied sounds so ugly. [He takes offense.] But like this, I have thumbs, and like that, I'm all big and fast. So, I like both versions of myself.

[But in case anyone forgets:]</small But I'm definitely not bald.

[beatupgrass]

[Rocket's opinion.]

You mean elsewhere besides your head?

[Don't belittle a guy because he can have it both ways, Rocket.]

[inreturn]

Of course! There's my tail, too. My tail might even have more fur than you do.

[He sounds proud of that for some reason? Hold on, he'll adjust the camera—look at this beauty.]

See? Isn't it great? Show me yours!

[beatupgrass]

[That sure is a tail. A tail with way more fur than his sorry, scruffy body has. He doesn't really have anything to say about that, because he sputters at the sudden suggestion of him WIGGLING HIS BUTT AT THE CAMERA. Or at least that's his interpretation of this sudden turn of events. You can't be too careful around here.] Why do you wanna see my tail?

[HE IS NOT HERE FOR YOUR KINKS, KADEN.]

[inreturn]

[Rocket...they're tails. Kaden would be so concerned if he knew Rocket associated tail sharing with butt shaking. He didn't even move to show a glimpse of his own. The sputtering just confuses Kaden.]

I've never met a talking raccoon before, so I was curious what it looked like. You don't have to show me if you don't want to.

[But he's clearly confused by that reaction. Did he say something wrong?]

[beatupgrass]

[For a genius, he's an idiot, Kaden. Pay him no mind.]

You ain't gonna meet one ever again neither unless there really is some frickin' planet with things that look like me. And I'm gonna be pissed if I ever find one.

[inreturn]

You mean you've never met another one? Not even your mom and dad?

[A long pause before he, you know, says more unhelpful things. With all sincerity:]

I'm sorry to hear that. That must be pretty rough.

[beatupgrass]

My mother had an IQ of three. The less said, the better. So yeah, rough about covers it.

[inreturn]

['What's an IQ?' is what he wants to ask. But this furry boy doesn't seem very happy, so Kaden decides to ignore that. He'll ask Haru later and try being nice instead.]

Hm...yeah. I've never been through anything like that. You're an impressive guy, aren't you?

[beatupgrass]

[Well.

That's exactly the right thing to say.] Heh. Nice of you to notice.

[inreturn]

[Bingo. He feels very successful here. Now to just keep going.]

What other kinds of things have you done? I want to hear more about you.

[beatupgrass]

Eh, y'know. Blew up a lot of stuff, killed a bunch of people, escaped from prison twenty three and a half times, saved the galaxy twice.

[He drones on cheekily, like these are all modest accomplishments.]

[inreturn]

[Hm. Kaden's never done any of those things except for kill people? Look, poachers...they're a thing. That said, it means he really can't judge him for how bad this would all look on a resume.]

Wow, it sounds like you're a lot busier than I usually am! I wonder if humans would ever try to throw me in a prison. Probably not. I'm faster and stronger and more difficult to find. So, how'd you save the galaxy?

[beatupgrass]

First time I got rid of a genocidal maniac. Second time I got rid of a genocidal planet. Genocide is, apparently, all the rage these days.

[a beat. maybe he should give credit where credit is due.] My team helped too. A bit.

[that's better.]

[inreturn]

I'm sure your team benefited a lot from your leadership! Being the leader's the toughest job.

[But yikes. Genocide, huh? Well, he has some experience with that...]

What do you mean by a genocidal planet? Do you mean everyone on the planet, or...something else?

[beatupgrass]

Yeah, and they're useless without me.

[He suddenly appreciates this weird kid. It's like having a hype man.]

No the planet, itself, was alive and very, very invested in killing everything, so he could have more versions of himself runnin' around. Apparently, the name Ego was accurate.

[inreturn]

I can only imagine. If we're ever going to do something about that Storm, it'll be great to have you around.

[He's not even being insincere. That does sound great, because Rocket is his new friend.]

Ego's a bit on the nose, huh? It's tacky. But so is killing everything, so I'm not really surprised.