text, un: bowtiesaresupercool

[mmiab]

Hello, everyone.

[ a little wave from a man who's smiling happily enough - a bit subdued, perhaps, but that's to be expected given the subject matter. ]

It's been a tough month, eh? I just wanted to say a huge well done to those of you who fought for a cure - it's extraordinary that you were able to create one in the time you did from entirely foreign components. I'm glad that our hosts are recognising the effort.

Everyone else, well done to you, too. Whatever you were doing, this has been a stressful situation and you made it out the other side, and that's worth a pat on the back if you ask me.

[ patron... ising??? it doesn't look like he's trying to be, voice soft and warm and earnest. what's visible of the background seems to be cool, stark metal: a glimpse of a glass window bathed in a glow of light coming from within. the ship. stasis chamber. ]

Off the back of that, if anyone fancies, I'll be offering free hugs for the rest of the month. Courtesy of me, while stocks last. Just give me a ring, I'll come and find you.

—Yeah, that's it. ... See you, then.

[ and, with a tiny salute, he's out. ]

Comments

[vorrutyer]

Oh, how marvelous. Are you going to take a picture of me and hang it on your wall to commemorate my patronization? Er - patronage. Sorry, dear man, I misspoke.

[mmiab]

[ deep!!! inhalation!!! keep it chilly, Doctor ]

If you like. Unfortunately I'm between business places, so I'm not sure I've got a wall to hang it on, but I can always keep it for later.

[vorrutyer]

I have a neat solution. Get it tattooed on the back of your hand. That way I'll always be with you, whenever you look down. Hm?

[mmiab]

Now, wouldn't that be a gift.

As much as I'd love to, I feel it might upset the apple cart a bit. I'd have to start getting everyone's faces tattooed somewhere, and I've only got so much surface area. Might have to put a pin in that brilliant suggestion.

[vorrutyer]

Or you could gain an enormous amount of weight. Or I could just be special to you.

[mmiab]

I'm a businessman, Byerly. A purveyor of hugs. I'm afraid I can't keep favourites.

[vorrutyer]

Ah, capitalism. Turning every hug consumer into a faceless nobody. Tell me, what is the value of a hug if it's cold as ice, dear Doctor?

[mmiab]

No, see, I keep my hugs warm despite the chill. Just because it's frozen, doesn't mean it won't taste good after a spell in the oven.

[ ????? uhm? ]

[vorrutyer]

[ What. ]

Sorry, dear fellow, I don't understand what you mean. You see, I've never done anything as common as using an oven.

[mmiab]

[ whatever his metaphor may or may not have been, it spontaneously combusts into a bewildered scoff the second after that finishes coming out of Byerly's mouth ]

Pardon?

[vorrutyer]

[ An innocent blink. ]

What? Oh, that I've never cooked? No, no, I would never. It's such a proletarian thing to do, cooking.

[mmiab]

Are you being serious, or is this part of the game?

[vorrutyer]

I'm always serious. I've never made a joke in my life.

[mmiab]

—Ah, of course. The bear way. Beg your pardon.

[vorrutyer]

Thank you. Your cultural sensitivity is much appreciated. But yes, I am upper-class amongst the bears. A bear-istocrat. A member of the bear-istocracy.

[mmiab]

I see. Most impressive. Whilst the other ursine individuals subsist on the bear necessities, you kick back in the grander caves with your bearst friends. What a life to live. To think, I'm graced by the presence of a finer class of bear.

[vorrutyer]

Indeed you are. Of course, we bearistocrats are a dangerous breed. We're both prideful and heavily-clawed. You really haven't seen wretched violence until you've seen two bears dueling one another after one fellow danced flirtatiously with another one's she-bear. Or - heavens - the roaring and snapping over gambling debts!

[mmiab]

Sounds frightful. Remind me never to cross a bear in high society.

So, do you want one of these or not?

[vorrutyer]

Desperately.

[mmiab]

Right then. Time, place, and once it's locked in you're getting one whether you're absolutely not joking or not.

[ I'm not coming all the way over there just to be laughed at and sent on my way!!! ]

[vorrutyer]

[ Hm. Perhaps it's time to put this joke to bed, then. He doesn't want to run the risk of getting hugged, here. ]

Ah, it takes a brave man to threaten a bear.

[mmiab]

Or a stupid one.

Or maybe a dashingly handsome, incredibly foolhardy but generally likely to come out alright-ish one.

The possibilities are endless.

[vorrutyer]

Have you ever been mauled?

[mmiab]

Oh, many times.

[vorrutyer]

Oh, do tell.