video, un: bowtiesaresupercool

[mmiab]

Hellooooooooooooooooooooo Nysans!

Nysans? El Nysans? El Nysonians? I don't know. Weird, this new planets lark, I'm out of practice, it's been a while. New planets! Fun!

Anyway. Hello. Occurred to me just now, and by just now I mean I'm bored and it's occurred to me before but I've been storing it up for an opportune moment, that there's a lot of you to whom I still haven't introduced myself! And since introducing myself can sometimes be a bit of a palaver, I'm going to go ahead and get through as many of you as I can with this one quick broadcast. Right. Here we go. Ready? Ready.

[ here, the stupid strange-faced bowtie-wearing man with the big grin who's staging a brief (I say brief...) takeover of your screens and attention takes a deeeeeep breath. rubs his hands together!!! grins again, and— ]

Hi! Hello. I'm the Doctor. Yes, the Doctor, not a doctor, though I'm one of those too, in many disciplines, none of them medical. Can still probably save you from losing a leg if I can get my hands on the right alien tech, though. Bit of a jack of all trades. Space and time travelling alien, to get that bit out of the way while we're at it. Two hearts. Legs. Okay? Okay.

While I'm here, let's play a getting to know you game. Yeah? [ a pause, in which he's waiting for an answer that he— apparently receives? from who, your guess is as good as mine. ] Hah hah. Yeah. Good. Getting to know you through the age old medium of word association! This is either going to be great fun or get very boring very quickly, so we'll see how it goes. It's the extended edition, rules are slightly different: for every word you give, you have to explain the link from the last one. However obvious.

Ready? Okay. Here we go. I'll give you a few choices for a starter. ... Train, story, sun, space, fashion, smile, or hope.

And we're off!

[ and he's... also off. (thank God????) good luck nysa... ]

Comments

[vorrutyer]

You're welcome. So, say, fellow, what sparked the desire for this game, anyway?

[mmiab]

Oh, you know. Bit of a want to get to know who I'm settling down with, since I seem to be settling down.

[ being planetstuck is a strange and rare thing these days. ]

[vorrutyer]

I see. And word association is the best way to do that?

[mmiab]

If MI6 can use it as a technique to see if James Bond is fit to return to work, I can use it to get to know people a little better.

[vorrutyer]

Dear fellow, I haven't the faintest idea who you're talking about.

[mmiab]

Welcome to a very large club. I don't know if they ever got name badges, but membership's free.

[vorrutyer]

What a dubious merit. "Member of a club of fellows who don't understand your cultural references." Let me guess- I'd understand you if I were from 20th-century earth?

[mmiab]

In this one instance? Yes, possibly. Depends if you'd seen the movie. Most of the time? Still likely no.

[vorrutyer]

The dominance of 20th-century Terrans and their popular culture in this place is so utterly oppressive. Ah, well. But dear fellow, I must ask - what is the point of making jokes if you know your conversational partner will not laugh?

[mmiab]

I beg your pardon. I'm a tourist of 20th-century Earth, not a citizen.

You mean the James Bond thing? It wasn't a joke, it was a statement. I was just answering your question. My apologies, I'll know not to make 20th century Earth movie references in answer to your questions in the future.

[vorrutyer]

Oh, answer however you'd like, good man. I'm simply questioning. Using a reference obscure to your conversation partner is like...challenging a bear to a duel. Certainly, you can accomplish your goal - getting mangled to death - but it won't have been your well-chosen words that got you your heart's desire.

1/??

[mmiab]

Right, but—

[mmiab]

— uh.

[mmiab]

[ hm. ]

whoops DONE

[mmiab]

... Are you trying to tell me you're a bear wearing a people suit? It won't be the weirdest thing wearing a people suit I've encountered, not by far, so please feel free to decamp if it's a little stuffy in there. I will say I hope it's artificial, I'm not big on supporting the wearing of real people skins.

[vorrutyer]

[ What. Is this guy being serious, or is he making a deadpan joke...? Well, Byerly rolls with it. ]

Unfortunately, dear fellow, the zipper got stuck ages ago. I haven't been able to doff this suit for thirty-seven years. I feel like I'm suffocating in here.

[mmiab]

Thirty-seven, blimey, that's a while. I'll see if I can't get the sonic's zip-fixing capabilities up and operational soon, get you out of there for a stretch.

Must congratulate you on reaching such a ripe old bear age. Thirty-seven altogether, or is that just the length of time you've been trapped in your less furry cell?

[vorrutyer]

Thirty-seven altogether. My bearish mother zipped me up in this when I was but a cub, you see. So I've never known a furry life at all. Honestly, I'm actually quite frightened of the possibility.

[mmiab]

Well, maybe it's best we leave you in there, if you've grown with it. There's a chance you might die the second you step out of the human suit, not to alarm you, given the average bear lifespan. So I think maybe we'll just let you be thirty-seven year old human person "Byerly the breasts and butt guy".

[ courtesy of Ariadne, you can thank her later ]

i changed my mind

[vorrutyer]

How altogether terrifying. Well, I suppose it's terrifying, really. Bears have no real conception of mortality, being as we are bears. Death is an abstraction our simplistic cognition can't deal with. Honey, now - honey we understand. But not your human conceptions of what matters.

keeping the bears alive,

[mmiab]

Well, I can appreciate that. Just as well, really, no use in dancing with the concept of death when you could be living the reality of life. Though, again, not human. Don't have any human conceptions. Got a lot of non-human, non-bear conceptions, but not a human.

Anyway. Mr. Bearyerly. If I can ever interest you in some honey on toast, as a conciliatory gesture for your sorry person-skin trapped-bear state, I'd consider it my honour.

[vorrutyer]

Hm. What about honey's charming older sister? By which I mean mead. But I must ask - if you're not human, what are you? Tiger? Alligator? Hm, looking at your face...anteater?

[mmiab]

First of all, you're giving me mixed messages. Am I handsome in an unconventional sort of way or do I look like an anteater? Second of all, none of the above. I'm a Time Lord.

[vorrutyer]

Bears are famously attracted to anteaters.

And heavens me. What on earth is a time lord? Or what not-on-earth, I should say.

[mmiab]

Is that a fact.

It's a me. [ mario?? ] Not sure what I can tell you that I haven't already.

[ SLY!!! REFERENCE!!! TO HOW YOU DIDN'T LISTEN TO HIS POST. back at it again. ]