[video | un: TeaOnRice] wakey wakey eggs and -... nevermind it's just an egg

[gekkajuu]

[Atsushi likes his life on the planet, but now that he's on Thesa to help the people waking up, he doesn't mind spending the night. Or, rather: between all the simulations and the free food, he got so tired, he didn't even think to go home.

He wasn't expecting to wake up to a surprise next to his bed.]

I need help! No - some advice would do...

[At first, the video just shows a very panicky Atsushi, but the view shakily shifts to the bed, where an egg lies, the blankets carefully wrapped around its base so it won't roll off. It's not just any egg, either: it's huge, the size of Atsushi's arm.]

S-Sorry, I'm aware that this is a busy time for everyone, but... [The camera remains shaky, as does his voice.] I don't know what to do? This egg was next to me when I woke up, and... it's not very loud, but there's definitely a heartbeat inside of it.

If it was a chicken egg, I'd know what to do! And I'm sure that this egg just needs warmth and safety too, but... I have a job, now! I can't stay here. For that matter: even if I went home, I couldn't spend all day and all night keeping an egg warm... and I can't carry around something so big and expect to keep it safe...

... but I can't let it die.

[That comes before everything else, even his job that he's desperate to keep. It doesn't matter that he basically works on commission; he'd feel terrible if he didn't regularly check in to see if there's anything he can do. But now he's suddenly an egg mom dad on top of everything... This is too much responsibility all at once!]

I wonder if... maybe someone could babysit sometimes??

((OOC: omake thanks to Rune.))

Comments

[coolerjunpei]

[Is this magic? It must be magic. Magic: What The Fuck.]

Okay, uh, I guess I'll just imagine a world where shrinking living things isn't weird as hell. This is a straight to VHS family friendly comedy waiting to happen.

[The real joke is how long VHS tapes have been irrelevant, but never mind that.]

What happens if it hatches when it's still pocket-sized?

[gekkajuu]

[Don't look at Atsushi, it's Jade who's gonna do the shrinking. Because apparently this egg must be parented by every furry on the planet.]

Supposedly it's completely safe? [Supposedly.] I do intend to ask for it to be brought back to its original size if I see any signs of it trying to hatch, though. The shell might be too tough for it at that size as well...

[coolerjunpei]

[This sounds like the worst plan he's ever heard. Like worse than leaving it sitting in the sun, cracked open or not. Come on, furries.]

Right... There's a whole lot of "maybe" on that plan.

[gekkajuu]

I realize it's an extreme measure - but there's no other way! I can't carry it around as it is. It took everything I had just to get it on the bed safely! And I have work to get to... Who knows how long it may take to hatch?!

[The furry life, it is not easy.]

[coolerjunpei]

Seriously? How many big chickens are in there?

[It's like dog-sized, surely it can only weigh as much as a dog! This is what he believes.]

Get it a baby carriage.

[gekkajuu]

[... It weighs so much more than a dog, wow.]

I can't do my job with a baby carriage!

If that's really the only way, then... so be it. But a friend offered to shrink the egg, and that's definitely more convenient... and safer.

[He just has to trust that Jade knows what she's doing.]

[coolerjunpei]

[Nothing about shrinking a whole live creature can be safe, Junpei has seen movies. But it's not his egg, so whatever... whatever!!]

Alright, alright. Do whatever you want, it's your chicken. Just... don't be surprised if it comes out with a big head and a tiny body, or something.

[gekkajuu]

[It's going to come out as a tiny tiger that never grows any bigger, and Atsushi will hold himself very much responsible. -_- But he's got to use everything he has access to, if he's going to make this work!]

It's... perfectly safe. She said so.

[He doesn't doubt her, either, but... they don't even know what kind of animal it is. Given that, can she really be sure it's safe?]

Maybe I should have her shrink me first, just to be sure...

[coolerjunpei]

Haven't you seen that movie where the dad throws out his shrunken kids by mistake? You'll be fighting bugs for hours before anyone figures it out.

[Right................ right.]

[gekkajuu]

No..? But I'm not going to throw the egg out! That's actually the opposite of what I have in mind.

[Still a bad idea? Oh, yeah.]

[coolerjunpei]

No, I meant—it happens in the movie. Never mind.

[Still a TERRIBLE idea...]

Think of it like this: if you're stuck ankle-high forever, you can... fit through mouse holes...? [Like in a cartoon. There's a pattern here.]

[gekkajuu]

... I'm not sure if that's supposed to be a good thing or a bad thing.

[coolerjunpei]

Depends on the mice. Maybe they'll welcome you with open arms, maybe you'll be cast out and forced to live under a couch somewhere... There are plenty of ways it could go.

[gekkajuu]

... That's more mouse variety than I ever thought of...

I suppose I should bring cheese.

[coolerjunpei]

Hey, give mice credit. They're smart enough to figure out what we put them through in experiments, after all.

Cheese'd probably help.

[gekkajuu]

I'll make sure to keep some handy if I end up shrunk.

[He's not serious. Mostly.]

[coolerjunpei]

That's the spirit. It was nice knowing you.

[For a whole... single conversation. Is it clear yet how bad an idea he thinks this is?]